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Keep Your Hands Off My Gluten-Free Kid

Keep Your Hands Off My Gluten-Free Kid

It’s so easy when I can feed gluten-free food to my gluten-free kid in my gluten-free kitchen, located in my gluten-free house. Where even the dogs are gluten-free.

In case they lick the children.

But when we hit the road and go past Gluten City, just up the road from Gluten Town, a stone’s throw from Glutenville?

Sometimes, not so easy.

So here’s the thing, Gluten World. It would be easier if you didn’t try, on a whim, to make him anything to eat. Gluten-free food can and should be (must be!) great-tasting food. Food to celebrate! And it’s not so hard to do. Not at all.

Unless you don’t know what you’re doing.

I’ll bring him lunch. And you won’t hear us complaining.

He might have a sandwich on these gluten-free hoagies, made mini from my recipe for Gluten-Free French Bread.

Or a turkey, prosciutto and gruyère sandwich on these Gluten-Free Pretzel Rolls, like the sandwich you see up top.

I’m working on even better gluten-free pizza, made with gluten-free bread flour. Gluten-free pizza is going to start at really, really good and go all the way up to killer. Just wait.

You’re throwing a birthday party, and you invited my son. It’s very kind of you to want to try your hand at gluten-free baking and make him some cupcakes with a boxed Gluten-Free mix you found at the market.

It’s just … you can’t dabble in gluten-free baking. Your plastic mixing bowl, wooden spoon and muffin tin? They’re all crazy gluten-contaminated. And since it’s his health we’re talking about, I won’t give him just one cupcake to be polite.

If you’re serving dinner, and you want to learn how to keep him safe, if it’s out of love, let’s talk. If you want to learn the basics, I want to teach you. If not, it’s really really really really okay.

You don’t have to do anything special for us. Nobody owes us anything, just because my son has celiac disease. I’ll make us some individual chicken pot pies, and bring them with me. I won’t mind if you won’t.

And if you do mind, then maybe we’ll just see you around. It’s my son. Keep your well-intentioned gluten-containing hands off of him. He’s only 8.

I can’t keep him in a food bubble forever, but I sure wish I could try. I don’t need your permission, and I don’t want your blessing. He was so sick when he was a baby, it would break your heart if you saw a picture.

For now, I just want to keep him safe.


P.S. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet, My Cookbook is a good place to start cooking and baking gluten-free.

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