Universal Truths … & Doughnut Muffins

Can you explain to me why, if you drink it in a special bathroom cup, at night and while wearing your jammies, water tastes better? My whole life, I don’t get that. But I know that it’s true. Universally true.

I bet that’s why kids, since time immemorial, have conned their parents into just-a-cup-of-water-&-I-promise-I’ll-go-right-to-bed-pllleeeeeeeeaaaaaassssseee. That water is the goods, man. Proper. That – I get. And it’s not like I get anything and everything that has to do with being a kid.

Thing is, I barely have any memory of even being a kid myself. I know, weird, right? But I remember water in a little Dixie cup at night. The cup that threatened to burst if you filled it all the way up, much less tried to reuse it. And it was waxy. Maybe the wax was what made the water so terribly delicious. The wax, and putting one over on your parents. That’s pretty sweet, too.

You know how they say, the more things change, the more they stay the same? I’m not crystal clear on what that means, but I think it might have something to do with kids hoodwinking their parents through the generations. That, and the power of dying of thirst.

This is all a roundabout way of saying that I think context matters. Delivery and context matter. If we were partners on Super Password, we’d totally lose that round if you said “doughnut” and I was meant to say “MUFFIN!” That’s not a good call and response situation. ‘Cause when I say “doughnut,” you think, fried dough (nut). So I’m asking you to suspend disbelief about Doughnut Muffins. For me? Please?

Here’s the 4-1-1 on Doughnut Muffins:

Fact: Doughnut muffins are not fried dough, so they don’t taste exactly like fried dough. Duh.
Fact: These particular doughnut muffins have a crunchy outside, and a cakey inside. They are straight up, no wool-over-the-eyes-necessary, the best muffins-cum-doughnuts I have ever had.
Fact: I never lie. I may kid, and I may needle. But lie? Totally no way. Ixnay on the yinglay.
Fact: Just for future reference, I’m a crackerjack liar. A real pro. So if I ever were to lie to you, you’d completely buy my lie, hook line and sinker. But don’t worry, I don’t do it. Like, ever. Ask my kids.
Fact: It’s really confusing to conjugate the verb, “to lie.” And doing it in Pig Latin does not make it any easier. Copy?

My recipe for Cinnamon Doughnut Muffins is in the latest issue of Living Without Magazine. There is a printer friendly option on the website, and, of course, it’s in the print version of the mag, which hit newsstands this week. If you’re not already a subscriber, you should consider becoming one. Well worth the price.

Do you subscribe to any magazines or newspapers? For me, it’s The New Yorker every week, the New York Times every day, and various food magazines. That’s it.

Apropos of a nothing, do you ever just putz around on the Web through Stumble Upon? If not, you should seriously consider it. I just found this list of Universal Truths, and I am giggling like a mental patient over here {no offense to those readers who are, in fact, mental patients; I’m being hyperbolic}.

Here are my favorite Universal Truths:
1. People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard.
2. Everyone had an uncle that tried to steal their nose.
3. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
4. There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
5. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
6. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

Let’s Connect! Tell me:
What truths do you consider to be universal? Do you have a
favorite from the link above? How about your own?

Love you. Mean it. Love you all weekend long. xoxo Nicole

Tagged as: Breakfast, Brunch, General Silliness, Living Without Mag

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