I think I have post-partum dog depression. Except I didn’t give birth to the dog. And I adopted her. Over a year ago. Okay, like a year and 5 months … more
I think I have post-partum dog depression. Except I didn’t give birth to the dog. And I adopted her. Over a year ago.
Okay, like a year and 5 months ago.
They would have given her the needle at the shelter in the South where she found herself. That’s what I hear they do (apologies respec’ to readers in the South). And, also, I hear her mom was a real bitch.
Still, we saved her.
But she is so mean, yet good things come to her regardless. Everywhere she goes. She’s not sweet. But she looks sweet. My oldest says that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But if we didn’t judge mean, mean, mean Gracie by her cover, we’d give her the needle for sure.
She confuses us with her cover. It’s like a Jedi Mind Trick. Here. I’ll show you. Can you tell which one she is? Remember, she just looks sweet.
She’s the sweet-looking one on the right.
Did you get it wrong? Don’t feel bad. She’s a svengali. She robs people of all reason and good sense.
She has been barking and growling like a crazy person lately. Worse than usual. And she has a brother dog, too. Oh, Brother. He’s way nicer than she is (unless you’re the UPS man, ‘scuse me), but she gets him all riled up.
We got a dog trainer. He fell under her spell. She skillfully refrained from growling and barking around him. She used her super powers.
Just look at her!
And she’s so soft. Smooth as silk fur. She doesn’t even shed! Her little feet make her look like a ballerina. She’ll fetch for an hour and a half, straight through, throwing the ball to you with her little nose. She’s so much fun, and so freaking adorable. And she’ll, like, totally sit in your lap for an hour, loving you. She can make you feel like you’re the best and only person in the whole world.
Then the dog trainer came back. And she let her freak flag fly.
The jig was up.
The dog trainer recommended a super expensive deluxe barking collar. It makes a freakishly high pitched drives-her-crazy sound, and vibrates. She wore it for a week before I had the nerve to turn it on. Because of the cuteness. Not because of the inside of the book. Just because of the cover.
When I found myself fantasizing that she might bolt out into traffic (on our dead end street), I knew it was time.
I fired that baby up.
And although I’m not proud of it, I enjoyed her first “correction.”
She’s now hiding under a bench. Sleeping off the shock of it all.
She looks like an angel (see photo above).
Who’s the svengali now? (For those of you watching at home, it’s me. I’m the svengali)
In case you got confused above by the proximity of a cute white fluffy dog to a cute pinkish pop, the picture up at the top of the screen, and the picture on the left (next to the cute fluffy white dog) are Frozen Cherry Pops. The picture up top is the penthouse apartment kind. Made with $2 popsicle molds. The picture below? The bargain basement kind. Made with a the waxy Dixie cups I love so well and a bamboo skewer. For when you run out of deluxe $2 popsicle molds.
- 2 cups pitted sweet cherries
- 2 to 3 tablespoons sugar (optional)
- 2 tablespoons honey (optional)
- Juice of 1 lemon
- ¼ teaspoon table salt
- 1 cup plain Greek yogurt (or equal amount soft tofu or soy yogurt)
- In a medium saucepan over medium heat, cook the cherries, optional sugar, optional honey, lemon and salt, stirring frequently, until the cherries have begun to break down (or macerate if you're fancy), and the sauce has thickened and reduced by about one-quarter (about 10 minutes). Allow to cool. This is a good place to stop and refrigerate the cherry mixture if you're thinking about doing this in stages.
- In a blender, place the yogurt (or tofu) and then the cherry mixture (once cooled), and pulse until just blended. Pour the mixture into popsicle molds (or mini Dixie cups, or any other sort of cups), and freeze. After an hour, place some sort of popsicle stick in the center of the mold or cup, and return to the freezer. Freeze for at least another 2 hours until completely firm.
- To free the pops from their molds, run the outside of the mold under warm water briefly and either peel back the Dixie cup or carefully wiggle the stick to remove the pop from the mold. How awkward was that description? I'm trusting that you can read my crazy mind. I trust you.
Love you. Mean it.